Most people would agree that
time seems to change speed in the most annoying way. I remember as a
child being dragged to a school concert to witness my sister’s first
attempts as a violinist! I recall feeling genuinely puzzled as to how my
mother, who I knew had definitely sat through the entire performance
with me, could possibly have thought the time had gone quickly!
The usual
explanation for such anomalies is that it is not time that changes, but
our perception of time. I agree that it is our perception of time
that changes, but I do not feel that time does not change, because I do
not believe time is real. All time is imagined and depends entirely on
our perception of it, for it to seem to exist at all. In other words,
time is part of our belief system, and we are only aware of time because
we think it is real.
The
perception of linear time allows our awareness to arrange whatever we
imagine into separate, individual moments that seem to form a sequence
within our mind. Using this tool, we imagine separation on the basic
level of apparent physical form- ( e.g. this person appears to be a
separate person from me), by observing them as seeming to be physically
disconnected from ourselves. We can also imagine events unfolding,
however, and this allows the expression of ego through apparent
interactions with other people, who we believe to be separate from us.
Time, therefore, is a tool that allows separation to appear to exist.
I think
that understanding time is very difficult to do when you have no
reference outside of it. I first knew time was not all it seemed, when I
realised that travelling to visit past lifetimes can be done simply by
intention alone.
To remember
eating breakfast this morning, I simply travel back in my mind to
breakfast time. Of course, I never actually ate breakfast- I am
imagining the entire thing, because my apparent life as a separate human
being is just a way to play out my imagination on what it may be like to
be separate- that is all this illusion is. So I am not actually travelling back in time, I am simply seeming to experience the
sequence of snapshots from my imagination of eating breakfast. Of
course, (and this is the whole point) none of my apparent
previous lifetimes actually happened either- they, too, are imagined. So
to seem to visit a past life, I just recall a memory from another
lifetime rather than from the one I seem to be living now. It is no
different. It is just recalling memories from my imagination.
So I
could represent time visually as a short length of thin wire. I take
each end and bring them together, so I have a loop in the shape of the
loop of an ankh. The beginning and end of my time line are represented
by the same point, which is the point on the narrow end of the loop
where the two ends of wire meet. My apparent lifetimes seem to be
represented along the loop. Although I can visit any lifetime, because
they are all equally accessible, the point where the ends meet is the
most interesting. The first apparent point in time is represented as
being the first discernable part of the wire’s length emerging from the
start of the wire. It would represent more than one instant seeming to
be perceived, and linear time sets off, as it were. In other words,
separation is imagined. At the far end of our length of wire, however,
if the sense of awareness represented using this length
of wire
were to let go of perceiving separation, (we are getting
excitingly close to enlightenment at this point!) there would be no need
for perception of linear time, because there would be nothing to need to
seem to make separate. So the beginning and the end of the perception of
time are represented in the same way, as the same point, because they
are exactly the same!
After
seeming to visit many other lifetimes, I had an experience that took me
completely by surprise. I think I had an experience of being aware of
all apparent time condensed into one moment. I am still not sure if my
awareness was at the point of the ankh where the two ends meet- it
certainly felt like it may have been. During this experience, my sense
of identity was not with any worldly physical body. My sense of identity
seemed to be with what I have, at the moment anyway, chosen to call the
Mind.
I knew with
inconceivable detail every thought that every ‘person’ had ever seemed
to have had in every lifetime I had ever imagined them to have lived. I
knew every movement they had ever seemed to make, because I knew that I
imagined them making it. I was aware of every blade of grass, and every
insect that had ever seemed to be, throughout the universe and more
besides. I also knew of many other expressions of my imagination beyond
that of our apparent universe. There were many, and they varied in
apparent complexity. I knew everything about the entire
illusion in that one moment. It was not fantastic to me and it did not
feel special, because I knew it is not real. It felt completely natural
somehow, and it did not occur to me that it should ever be any
different. I also felt it to be perfect. There was nothing about it that
I felt needed to be changed. There was complete acceptance.
I know
one way (there may be many other ways) to let go of that sense of
separation and so move towards this point. Forgiveness
allows
all judgment to be released, and when comparisons make way for complete
acceptance, it is no longer possible to see differences, and all is One.
With a
shift in the belief system, I believe forgiveness can be a far more
powerful tool than time.
Sarah
Meskanen
sarah.matarah@gmail.com